


The Stars'll Never Shine As Bright As When You Were In My Arms

by MogmaMittens



Category: Star Wars Legends: Knights of the Old Republic II: The Sith Lords
Genre: Blood, Canonical Character Death, F/M, Love Confessions, Scene Rewrite, its his death scene except i wrote it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-07
Updated: 2017-01-07
Packaged: 2018-09-15 11:41:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9233576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MogmaMittens/pseuds/MogmaMittens
Summary: “Are you…?”“What, hideously deformed?”





	

She felt queasy.

 

There was so much blood -  _ too much, too much, too much.  _ At least when she had killed Kreia, her lightsaber had cauterized it, but… there was so much, here. Too much. The smell was rancid, mixed with burnt flesh and hair and who knows what else, and that was when she saw him.

 

Atton.

 

Just…  _ lying there. _

 

She hoped to the Force that he hadn’t passed, not yet. She could still  _ save him,  _ she could-

 

“Hey, princess.”

 

At his voice, thick and low, she rushed forward the last few feet and dropped to her knees. The smell was worse here, as if it had burned into his very bones, and for all she had known, it  _ had.  _ He was still warm beneath her touch when she had turned him over, and she wasn’t sure if it was from a fever or if it was because he was going to be  _ okay _ . Space, she hoped it was the latter. He groaned when she settled him onto his back, pain pinching his features into something she could hardly recognize.

 

“Atton?” She was almost afraid to ask. She didn’t want to know if this was real or not, if this was just another of Kreia’s tricks and she was going to be standing there when she stood, cackling in a way only she could. “Are you…?”

 

“What, hideously deformed?” He coughed and wheezed, blood bubbling up in his throat. She pulled him up into her lap, if only for the elevation, and he spat out a wad of blood and mucus to the side. “‘Fraid so.” His head lolled to the side into her stomach, and he took a shuddering breath. “S’fine. Always was like this, now it’s just the outside that matches.” 

 

“Don’t say that.” She couldn’t take her eyes off a cut in his arm, going so deep she could see muscle. It’d be a miracle if he could ever work it right again. “I can feel the light in you.”

 

“Helluva lot more darkness,” His fingers twitched. He looked like he was trying to move, but it wasn’t working, and she wanted to pick him up and take him back to the ship, but Bao-Dur was coming with the Ebon Hawk soon enough as it was and she didn’t want to risk any more blood loss. “But look at you, bein’ the hero and all… s’posed to be my job, y’know.”

 

“Atton-”

 

“S’posed’ta ride in on a white horse and save you, make you fall in love with me,” he paused, “should’a seen this one comin’. Had a bad feeling, this whole time.”

 

“I know you did, I should’ve never left you alone,” tears were rolling down her cheeks now and she wasn’t sure when that happened, just like she wasn’t sure when, exactly, she’d started missing Atton even though he was right there in front of her.

 

Probably because she could feel the force in him pulling away, extinguishing itself. She could feel the pain of his injuries, the festering of his wounds. She’d sooner take her own death than feel him die. After all, that was her job, right? It wasn’t like she was even a real force user, just someone who stole it from others. Atton could  _ use _ the force. Atton was changing; he deserved to live far more than she did.

 

“Nah, would’a ended up like this either way. But listen.” He was struggling like he was trying to get up, whining from the back of his throat. She put a hand behind his neck and  _ Space,  _ there was blood there too, seeping into her gloves and making her hands sticky. She lifted him so they were more level, and he finally managed to move his arm, at least enough to drag it onto his chest. “Stop cryin’, okay? No need for scum like me.” He was fading fast and she wanted to heal him, she was pouring force into him but it just  _ wasn’t working.  _ “Couldn’t die until I told you,” he coughed again and it was wet, and this time when he spat it was viscera. “Always joked about it, loving you,” he looked shocked that he let it slip, but he was in more of a stupor than anything at this point. 

 

“You-”

 

“Yeah.” He swallowed, “Yeah.” He was breathing shallowly but managed to laugh sheepishly anyway, only really managing to blink up at her drunkenly. She hadn’t been too surprised when he’d mumbled a, “can’t breathe too well. Sorry, sweetheart,” and then a resigned, “looks like I’m not gonna make it. Know you just can’t live without me, but...” 

 

She pressed their foreheads together. “You’re going to make it.”

 

“‘M’not. S’okay, though.” She rubbed her thumb over the side of his head, his hair wet with sweat and blood. “You look like an angel, y’know?” His breath was hot on her face, slow enough to match the cadence of his words. “Always thought you were one, here to save me.” He smacked his lips together. “Knew I didn’t deserve that much.”

 

She put a hand on his cheek, her thumb tracing his cheekbone. “You deserve  _ so _ much. I’m going to get both of us out of here, okay? You’ll see. Save your energy.”

 

“Waste of yours.” He threw up his shields, something she’d taught him to do and subsequently wished she never had, because now she couldn’t even  _ try  _ to heal him. “You’re not doin’ anything, just…” His voice faded out more and more with each word, “love you... Sorry it was me.”

 

She pulled him up so his face was resting in the crook of her neck, smearing blood all over her face when she buried it in his shoulder. 

 

“It’s  _ always _ going to be you.” She sniffed, “You hear me? It’ll never-  _ fuck. _ ” She could feel every wound in his back when she tightened her hands in the back of his vest, threatening to tear the Bantha leather. “It’ll never not be.” 

 

Her body wracked with pain all over, and he was gone.

 

He was gone, and she  _ knew  _ he was gone, but she couldn’t stop crying. She couldn’t let him go, even when her arms were threatening to give out from holding his dead weight for so long.

 

It wasn’t until Mira pried her away - “This place is gonna blow! You wanna die, too?” - that she could look at his face again. 

 

She wanted to kiss him. She couldn’t. She couldn’t and it was  _ her fault.  _

 

“Come on,” Mira’s voice came again, softer this time, “if we try to take him, we won’t make it. You have to let him go.”

 

“But I don’t  _ want to. _ ” 

 

“You  _ have  _ to. If you think he’d want you to die on this shithole planet, then I don’t know  _ what  _ kind of spices you’ve been snorting.” She pulled at her shoulder again, “it’s what he would have wanted.”

 

“...I know.” She did. That was just… how it had to be. 

 

She pressed a kiss to his forehead - textured, burnt - and laid him down on the stone floor.

 

“He would’ve been proud of you.”

 

“I know.”

**Author's Note:**

> this was bad and 100% self indulgent but i love it
> 
> [im taking writing commissions!!](http://www.luci3l.tumblr.com/commission)
> 
> u can also catch me on twitter [here!!](http://www.twitter.com/lGN1S)


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